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On Relationships

husband, father, tech enthusiast
One of the best pieces of advice someone has ever given me…

Is that to make a relationship work, you don’t necessarily have to have everything in common, you just have to share the same goals.

When I was younger, in my teens and early twenties, I always thought I would have to find someone that I had everything in common with. My first marriage was largely based on this outlook. When I was going through my divorce and wondering how I was ever going to start dating again, a friend told me “Having a bunch of things in common is fun when you’re young and dating, but when you want to build a long-lasting marriage, it’s more important to have the same goals.”

I took this to heart and carried it into my current marriage. My wife and I don’t have as much in common as I have had with previous partners, but we both want to build a life together with our kids, have a comfortable home, and travel to see the world. We may not like all the same music or all the same movies, but when it comes to the big decisions in life and where we see ourselves in 10, 20, or 30 years, the ideas are the same. This also gives us the opportunity to be open minded and learn from each other, and to experience new things from each other.

There are many other things that go into making a solid, lasting relationship or marriage, but this has been one piece of advice that I’m glad I was given.

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